One of my Christmas gifts from my dear friend Joni (the writer, pageant queen, radio talk-show host, model, gardner, cooking-contest-winner - just to name a FEW of her talents) was the hilarious book, Being Dead Is No Excuse The Official Southern Ladies Guide To Hosting The Perfect Funeral by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays. This book is an entertaining look into Southern life and death...geared to educate one on the proper way to have a funeral. It's filled with helpful hints that everyone can use, and is quick to point out that a "good funeral is good for everyone". I had no idea about everything that is involved in a Southern funeral...I've never had the pleasure of attending one as of yet - the closest I've come was making a funeral hat for Miss Delcie. Delcie was my brother's and SIL's nanny/maid to their 5 children when they lived in Fairfax, South Carolina. Delcie didn't drive so every day Miss Ellie would go and pick her up and bring her back to their plantation to clean and iron and watch cartoons with the kidlets - or something like that. I met Delcie when I went to visit many years ago and even then Delcie was old. Delcie announced during my visit that her ex-boyfriend had passed and that he would be "funeralized". We told her how sorry we were and asked if they were still close and she said, "Oh no! I'm going to his funeral because I want to make sure he's dead!" Delcie wanted a "funeral hat" to wear so I made her one...big and black with flowers attached - she was thrilled beyond words. I would have loved to have gone with her...and if I had known about funeral foods, I would have made something and taken it over to the bereaved's home...the ticket to a funeral - any funeral...is food.
According to the book, the TOP TEN FUNERAL FOODS are:
Tomato Aspic with Homemade Mayonnaise
Fried Chicken
Stuffed Eggs
Virginia's Butter Beans
Can't-die-without-it-Caramel Cake
Homemade Rolls
Banana Nut Bread
Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake
Methodist Party Potatoes
Tenderloin
I'll be making these "to-die-for" foods in the next coming weeks! All of those recipes are in the book, along with a ton of others - it's really a cook book with "funeral advice" thrown in, along with some very funny stories. I highly recommend it. If you'll notice, the number one food is the Tomato Aspic - no Southerner would dare to die without having Tomato Aspic at their funeral - it would just be un-southern/uncivilized. So, to my family and friends, when my time comes, somebody PLEASE make sure I have Tomato Aspic at my funeral (even though I'm not Southern, I wouldn't want my funeral foods to be uncivilized!)...you can skip the Homemade Mayonnaise (which is the suggested accompaniment), I prefer to eat my aspic with crackers, celery or shrimp...not that I'd be eating, of course, but I wouldn't want to ask too much in your time of grief.
As you can see, the top of my aspic (the bottom of the mold) is where the spices ended up...I don't know how to keep them "mixed" - does anyone know? I should have turned my aspic out onto a bed of greens...and would have if I'd had any...please forgive me. An aspic is like a jellied cocktail sauce...it's full of flavor - horseradish, lemon, onion, cloves and tomato...and can be sliced easily. The mister was fairly taken with my aspic...however, not enough to die for.
Tomato Aspic - Adapted From Gayden Metcalfe, Being Dead Is No Excuse
4 cups tomato juice
6 slices lemon (don't worry about seeds, they'll get strained out)
3 slices yellow onion, separated into rings
2 bay leaves
tops of one bunch of celery
several whole cloves
3 tablespoons horseradish
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce (Lea & Perrins recommended)
4 envelopes Knox unflavored gelatin
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
Put the tomato juice, lemon slices, onion slices, bay leaves, celery tops, and cloves in a heavy pot and simmer for 20 minutes. While this simmers, mix together the gelatin and vinegar. (It will be very thick.) Strain the tomato juice mixture and add the gelatin mixture. Stir until the gelatin has dissolved. No lumps allowed! (I was so worried about lumps that I strained this a second time at this point.) Add horseradish, salt, pepper, lemon juice, and Worcestershire sauce. Taste and correct seasoning if needed. Lightly oil a 6-cup mold. Pour the mixture into the mold and chill until firm, several hours or overnight. Overnight is best. Unmold on a bed of greens. (I forgot the greens!) If the aspic will not come out of the pan easily, run a knife around the edge or dip the pan into a sink of hot water - just for a second!
I have to tell you, at first I wasn't "getting" the aspic...the texture kind of threw me...but after a few more tastes, it kind of grew on me and I rather like it...if you don't want to wait until my funeral to try this, I'd suggest making it for game day or your next party...if you've never had this before it will be a conversation starter! This recipe serves 10 to 12, but for MY funeral, whoever makes the aspic should probably double the recipe, since I'm sure they'll be a crowd, those wanting to make sure I'm really dead, in which case you could use a 10-cup Bundt pan as the mold...just a thought.
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One year ago: BLT Wraps
Two years ago: Valentine Quilt