I didn't mean to do it....I just didn't see it, that's all, it wasn't intentional....I was distracted by the mister, that's my excuse, he was outside in the yard and was bending over - his backside just caught my eye as I was backing out of the driveway...how was I supposed to know the LAWN MOWER was behind me?!? I was viewing his rear, instead of watching my rear view, thinking that at any moment I was going to see something hysterically funny - because his shorts were rather low on his hips - and the neighbors were out in their yard and I was wondering if THEY were going to see IT too and just when the crack of his....CRUNCH!!! The dang lawn mower was struck dead.
Here's what the mister said,
"What the *#!* were you *^#!!* and why the *!!*&#*@ didn't you **&#!!^^% when you ##*&^!!@ is that too *&^#%$ to &^!*@&^ and why the #&%! did you $*&!???? Any *&#!$^%! moron could *&^!$% there was a !$#%*!& in the #$%!&"
Allow me to translate for you....
"Darling, it looks like you accidently hit the mower, now don't you go worry your pretty little head, I'll have it fixed in no time, you just run along and get yourself a nice massage or a pedicure and here, take my wallet and have fun..."
It doesn't look too bad, right? Just a crooked wheel....if my dad were here he would have it fixed in a jiffy - he can fix anything but, alas, the mister is not my dad...his "fixing abilities" consist of trimming his toenails and installing lightbulbs...but apparently the mister, after years of mowing the lawn 5 minutes each week (we have about 2 cubic yards of grass) had educated himself sufficiently with mower physiology that he pronounced the mower dead after performing a cursory post-mortem and while doing so was able to ascertain that the internal guts of the mower had indeed been compromised...time of death, 4:16 p.m.
I still say my dad could fix it but I'm not dumb enough to tell the mister that!
The time for mourning is now over...go out and get yourself a donut... it's NATIONAL DONUT DAY!! Life is sweet!
