Just when I started to think I was having a "normal" day...the mister forwarded an interesting email to me, thinking it was from my friend "Dawn". It was not. Below is the email, with the email address removed:
Sent: Monday, September 19, 2011 9:04 AM
Subject: new email address
I sent the last email from the wrong address, sorry for the confusion.
My NEW email address is xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I wish you all the very best, Dawn, "Heart and Hands Doula care"
Dawn? Who cares who Dawn is...what about the DOULA CARE?!? DOULA?!?! (A Doula is a person who provides non-medical support/help to pregnant women, through childbirth and postpartum) The mister certainly could use some help but he does NOT need a Doula...nor should he be corresponding with one! So I asked the mister why he would get an email from a Doula...
Mister, smirking: "Doesn't everyone need a Doula?"
Okay fine, I'll play along, "Oh sure, but tell me, what exactly is a Doula?"
Mister: "As if you don't know, it's a masseuse."
Me: "A Masseuse? Reee-heee-leeee! Well, I thought a Doula was like a mid-wife...someone who helps pregnant women deliver their children...but maybe I'm mistaken!"
Mister: "A what?!? (Flustered, fumbling for words...) Oh, I'm just kidding with you, I have no idea what a Dooooo-law is...and I have no idea why I got that email and I have no idea who Dawn is, I thought she was a friend of yours, besides, did you forget? I shoot blanks so why would I need Doooo-law!"
Me: "So let me get this straight...some woman, named Dawn, who is NOT my friend and who you claim not to know, sent you an email to let you know her new email and she's a Doula, is that correct?"
Mister: "Yes, but I have no idea who it is...I've been spanked, I mean spammed."
Me: "Spanked? Very Freudian. You're about to be. I had no idea Doula's sent spam, especially to men who shoot blanks."
Mister: "Everybody sends spam these days...it's a spam eat spam world."
The mister, once again, is on a short-leash...I believe some people might even call it a "choke-collar" - a studded choke-collar with the studs on the inside...is that wrong?
That's right...refrigerated pie crusts...it's the thing to use because the home-made, light and flaky crust would just fall apart, trust me. You will need a 10-inch cast-iron skillet for this recipe, and if you don't already have one, you should! Butter and brown sugar are combined and cooked just briefly until they transform into a caramel sauce...and then, even though it sounds crazy, the bottom pie crust is put ON TOP of the caramel sauce!
Cinnamon-sugar-coated apples are poured on top of the crust - some of the caramel sauce might seep up and over...oh my, so good! The top crust is put on, tucked carefully around the edges of the pan, brushed with egg, sprinkled with sugar, into the oven...and then you wait...the hardest part.
If Aibileen, from The Help, were talking to this pie, she would say: You is good. You is tasty. You is delicious. And all I would add is AMEN!
Skillet Caramel Apple Pie - Adapted, Slightly, From Southern Living, September 2011
4 lbs. apples, (recipe called for half Granny Smith and half Braeburn apples, I used the ones I picked from my mom's tree...small green apples that are less tart than a Granny, but still firm...have no idea what they are, and I used about 12 to 14 small to medium apples.)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 (14.1 oz.) package refrigerated pie crusts (two per package, you will use both)
1 egg white
2 tablespoons granulated sugar, or turbinado sugar, for sprinkling
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel, core and cut apples into 1/2-inch thick wedges. Toss apples with cinnamon and 3/4 cup sugar. Melt butter in a 10-inch cast-iron skillet over medium heat; add brown sugar, and cook, stirring constantly, 1 to 2 minutes or until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat and place 1 pie crust in skillet over brown sugar mixture, pressing gently up and around the sides. The pan will be hot so be careful. Spoon apple mixture over pie crust and top with remaining pie crust. Brush top of pie crust with egg white; sprinkle with 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar or turbinado sugar. Cut 4 or 5 slits in top for steam to escape.
Bake at 350 for 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes or until golden brown and bubbly, shielding with aluminum foil during the last 10 minutes to prevent excessive browning, if necessary. Cool on a wire rack 30 minutes before serving. Serves 8 to 10...and is delicious with vanilla ice cream!
"Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him." ~ Helen Rowland